Episode 2 - The Town of Osirus

The Town of Osirus is the 2nd episode in Spagoots: Realms.

Plot synopsis
''The adventure of the Spagoots Squad continues as they explore the town of Osirus. Who knows what kinds of friends or enemies they might make? Today, the four meet a sickly cow, have an excellent spaghetti dinner, steal some things, and play football!''

The Pink Pony
The party decides to head to the Pink Pony. It's a fairly average pub, less rowdy than usual. Light Boy and Altaevo interrogate the bartender about the lack of ice cream, and Vinca orders a jug of water, which he puts his fish in. The fishes name is now Fishy. The bartender introduces herself as Rachel. Light Boy explains that they're adventurers planning to deal with the labyrinth, and Rachel expresses a vague distrust of Quintas. Thorney agrees with Rachel, and takes the jug away from Vinca, who's been licking it. Thorney puts a neon green bendy straw in the jug, and gives it to Vinca before immediately taking it back. Vinca gets a normal glass of water instead. The party decides to steal stuff at the blacksmith. Rachel doesn't care, and Thorney high-fives her. Light Boy uses bless to make it better, and Rachel and Thorney fuck up together.

RYAN: They fumble, but they fumble in the exact same way. And it's awkward, and it's a mess, but it works.

Football Time
The blacksmith is trying to make a sword as the four enter. Light Boy tries to distract him, and claims they're planning a football game. She starts explaining how to play football to the blacksmith, although it becomes increasingly clear Light Boy doesn't know much about football.

LIGHT BOY: Okay! So this is how you play football! You see the ball? Alright. Now, what you do is you hold it up, you say, "AY! IT'S ME, FOOTBALL!"

BEE: And then I'm gonna throw it at something, to knock it down.

Thorney doesn't see anything he wants, so he offers to steal something for the dragonborns. Vinca requests a shortsword. The sword is behind the blacksmith. As a distraction, Altaevo suggests they learn football outside, but Light Boy resists. The blacksmith starts losing interest, but Light Boy continues to yell at him about football. Thorney demands the ball and punts it outside. The blacksmith runs out to get it. Light Boy and Altaevo run out and tackle him. Altaevo bounces off, and the blacksmith steps over Light Boy. Thorney succesfully takes the sword and tosses it to Vinca, who puts it in his shirt. The blacksmith fails a perception check and doesn't notice its missing. Light Boy explains the rules of tackling to him.

LIGHT BOY: See, the point of football - you throw the ball, and then you tackle the person who's trying to get their prized possesion back, and that's how it works, and you just do that over and over again.

ALTAEVO: Yeah that's the game, that's why it's called football.

Altaevo asks his name - it's Hans - and the party leaves after he thanks them for teaching him about football.

The Sickly Cow
The four decide to go to the stable. Light Boy and Thorney want to steal a horse, much to Altaevo's disappointment. The man there is named McManus, and the players start transforming him into McCree from Overwatch. It's a pretty full stable, with lots of cows. There are some chickens, a normal horse, and a horse with a pink streak who's the former mascot of the pub. One of the cows is looking 'sickly', to the party's dismayal. Everyone hates it. Ryan explains that in a game of D&D with Bee and Ryan, with Chase (@papermariowiki on tumblr), and there was a sickly cow in the game that the players adopted and went out of their way to ensure it's safety. Altaevo caresses both horses, and it's a moment. Vinca wants to steal a chicken, and Thorney tries distracting McManus by talking to him about the cow. Vinca steals the chick VERY successfully, while McManus talks about the cow - Bessy - and how he's known her ever since she was a calf and he has an emotional attachement to her. He doesn't hear the chick peep from Vinca's pocket. Vinca tries to steal some feed, and beats the others in a strength contest to avoid being pulled away. Thorney uses Vicious Mockery on McManus as a distraction. Vinca steals the feed, and apologizes for Thorney.

As the party walks to Quintas's house, Light Boy is tackled by Hans, who's taken a liking to football.

Spaghetti
Quintas welcomes the party, and offers them spaghetti. Everyone is very excited by it, and it's so good it gives them the effects of a long rest (because it is the long rest). Quintas explains the situation further - the labyrinth was made by a gnome named Lab, who was once close to Quintas. He made the labyrinth to hide a great treasure. She cautiously asks the party to get the treasure, which she believes might be a coin. Thorney realizes it might be related to coin Tobias had and starts choking on spaghetti. He rolls a Nat 20 on a constitution saving throw and starts inhaling all the spaghetti like a vaccuum cleaner, looking Quintas in the eye. They did not make a vore joke, so I'M going to make the vore joke.

After that incident, Quintas explains that they should ask Lab for the map to the labyrinth tomorrow. Light Boy asks about the reward, and Quintas promises them a huge case full of gold. She explains it's a special coin with a strange marking on it, and she's trying to get it before someone else does. She instructs the party not to trust a man in a bowler hat. Quintas leaves to go to bed. The gang has a meeting before sleep, and decide to talk to Tobias the next morning. Everyone agrees they don't trust Quintas, then they get into a discussion about elves and dreaming.

Appearances

 * Vinca
 * Altævo
 * Thorney
 * Light Boy
 * Rachel
 * Hans
 * McManus
 * Quintas