Prologue - The Great Apple Heist

The Great Apple Heist is the prologue of Spagoots Realms.

Plot synopsis
Light Boy and Thorney find a flyer signed, like an idiot, by Count Flannigan, seeking adventurers to pull a heist. After a brief discussion on the wisdom of advertising one's heist, the two meet with the count and his butler, Rosario. They are given the task to steal a Dream Apple from a rival count by the name of Blanche. He will give them 600 gold for their work.

Thorney and Light Boy gain access to Count Blanche's courtyard by claiming to be with a new newspaper titled the Sunnyville Sun, which wishes to run a story on Blanche's fifteen fountains. Light Boy casts Thaumaturgy to mimic the sound of a crash inside of the manor and lures Blanche out of the courtyard. She then goes over to distract the guard in a watchtower so Thorney can grab an apple.

As soon as Thorney touches an apple, an alarm goes off and Light Boy is affected by a spell of slowness. Thorny quickly pockets it and fails to convince the guard that he did not touch an apple. After a brief fight and Light Boy (slowly) knocks the guard out with Guiding Bolt, Blanche returns. Thorney claims that the guard had attacked Light Boy first, and that the apples had fallen off due to the crash in the manor.

Thorney returns the apples to Blanch, and attempts to convince him to let the pair take a Dream Apple so they can write a story about it in the newspaper. Right after the slowness affect on Light Boy ends, a group of goblins break into the courtyard by destroying the wall with a battering ram. Light Boy casts Thaumaturgy again to create a weak earthquake and get everyone to stop and "take a moment." The goblins reveal that they too were sent by Flannigan to collect an apple. Flannigan is an idiot.

The guards begin to fight the goblins. One of the goblins shoots Light Boy, knocking her unconscious.The goblins pick up a few apples, and the spell of slowness affects everyone except for Thorney and a single goblin. Thorney steals back the two apples he returned to Blanche, picks up Light Boy, and escapes the courtyard.

Light Boy and Thorney return to Count Flannigan's estate. Thorney, with the help of Light Boy's magical Bless, bargains with Flannigan to buy the two apples for 1,000 gold pieces. Rosario goes to fetch the money and Light Boy moonwalks off to go to the bathroom so she doesn't have to listen to Flannigan being an idiot. To avoid listening to a terrible joke, Thoney goes to join Rosario. Unfortunately Flannigan amplifies his voice and now everyone has to deal with his voice.

Rosario reveals that Flannigan has blown all but 127 gold pieces as he had squandered it all on eleven new fountains that he bought since the adventurers were last there. Thorney rips a solid gold drinking fountain out of the ground, and he and Light Boy bounce with the apples and 127 gold. They advise Rosario to get a job with Blanche.

Appearances

 * Light Boy
 * Thorney
 * Rosario
 * Count Flannigan
 * Count Blanche

Notes & Trivia

 * This was intended to be the first introduction to the party, but Ava and Vin, who play Altævo and Vinca, were unable to join the rest of the party to record.
 * The Great Apple Heist was actually the second recording of the night, but due to technical issues and its unexpected briefness, the first recording was never released.
 * The legality of Dream Apples is arguable.
 * Between Count Blanche's apparent similarity to Doug Dimmadome and the goblins' bettering ram, parallels to The Fairly Oddparents were drawn.

Transcript
Ryan: Hey everyone, and welcome to Spagoots Realms!

Penny: OOOOooooh!

Ryan: The sneak-preview prologue-thing.

Penny: Yeah, it's kinda Spagoots Realms.

Ryan: Yeah. See, a couple of our people aren't here and we were going to record today, but unfortunately, Ava and Vin could not make it, so this is kinda a Spagoots Realms Lite thing, so we figured why not use this as a way to sort of tease it, to sort of, you know, to give a little sneak-peak to everyone, you know.

Penny: Yeah.

Ryan:  So first, let's introduce what Spagoots Realms is, because some of you guys might just be looking on this channel after it hasn't posted anything in a year and a half. First,

Everyone: *Laughter*

Kay: Ooh, yikes-a-roony.

Penny: Oh my god, you guys.

Ryan: Yep, anyway, so in case you forgot everything, I'm Ryan.

Penny: Hi, I'm Judy*.

Kay: I'm still Kay.

Penny: Actually, that's a, that's a new development.

Kay: I was about to say "I'm still Kay, however,"

Penny: "I'm still Kay." I'm different now, hi.

 Ryan: Yeah. There was a bit of flip and yeah, that that's the news and we are doing a thing called Spagoots Realms! It's a campaign thing where it's a Dungeons and Dragons podcast.

Penny: Yeah!

Kay: How original.

Ryan: Yeah, no one's ever done that before and we are the first ones, ever.

Penny: No ones ever done it before. We've never even heard of the Adventure Zone. What?

Ryan: What?! UGH, JUDY!

Kay: What's a dragon?

Ryan: So, quick going over how this Dungeons and Dragons gonna work, first of all, I am going to be the DM, or dungeon master. For those of you who aren't familiar with Dungeons and Dragons or table-top games, I'm basically in charge of taking care of any character that isn't played by these munchkins,

Penny: Excuse me?

Ryan (cont.): and I'm also the one pretty much in charge of deciding who lives and who dies in the icy cold, black hand of fate

Kay: And who tells your story?

Ryan: That's a good Hamilton reference. And I'm pretty much the one who guides fate for these guys and these guys are...

Penny: Hi, I'm Judy and I am playing a Halfling Cleric named Light Boy. She's short, that's it.

Ryan: She's very very short, and what's her favorite style of music?

Penny: Green.

Ryan: Okay, and Kay, what's your character like?

Kay: I am playing an Elf Fighter named Thorney and he is tall.

Ryan: Heck yeah. And what's his favorite color?

Kay: Yes.

Ryan: Cool. You're not going to get any better entertainment anywhere else.

Kay: These are some high quality jokes. We've actually scripted this, so that we can get as many laughs as possible.

Penny: Like, if you wanna know why the channel was dead for that whole time, that was it. We were pain-staking scripting Spagoots Realms.

Kay: Oh absolutely!

Ryan: And this is our test viewing.

Penny: Wait, Ryan, right here in the script it says you give me ten dollars over PayPal. I don't, would you like to clarify that, or?

Ryan: Yeah, see you have to send me ten dollars over PayPal.

Penny: Oh, okay, I'll get to it, yeah.

Ryan: Anyway, so yeah, we are going to be doing a quick little mini thing. Also, I should probably introduce two character that you aren't seeing. Ava and his boyfriend, Vin, unfortunately could not make it, but they're playing as two Dragonborns named Altævo and Vinca who are wizards and rogues, respectively. And they are awesome, I love them, and they are dragons, and yeah, so now since there's no dragons in this, we are just playing dungeons.

Penny: Yeah. Is there a dungeon?

Ryan: That's for you to find out.

Penny: Oh shit.

Ryan: Buster.

Penny: Oh shit.

* It should be noted that I am using their name as of May 25, 2018 in the transcript. During this recording, their name was Judy, but has since been changed to Penny.